I killed a mouse during Hurricane Sandy.

October 31, 2012

This is me as a mouse.


I put the traps down. I loaded them with way too much peanut butter. Organic. A second of sweet salty goodness before being ripped from life and into a dark peanut butter-less void. This mouse had been taunting me for months. During a breakfast with friends, it popped out twice to snag some snacks from the dirty rug in the kitchen. It was inside my toaster when I went to make hot hard bread (toast) and it invaded my cabinets, ate through bags and shat everywhere. I was angry, ready for revenge, but in the end, it wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be.

As said mouse laid there lifeless, I realized that it was so vulnerable, just trying to stay alive. In the middle of this horrible hurricane it was just looking for somewhere safe, and I killed it. It was a smart mouse. It had avoided the glue traps, dismissed the rat poison and for a little while dodged the mouse traps. I thought it knew what I was doing, I thought it was playing a trick on ME. Maybe it was plotting my demise. A few times I woke up in the middle of the night, thinking it was in my sheets. Droppings in my shower made me think it had gotten into my shampoo or even worse, my toothpaste. A smart mouse. Dead.

I get scared easily. I’m scared of bugs, small animals, people. I wanted my girlfriend to take the dead mouse out, but she made me do it. I’m glad she did. It gave me a moment to be alone with him. We need to pay attention and enjoy what we have, I told the mouse, take nothing for granted. Mice don’t go unforgotten, I’ll remember the short and unpleasant time we had together. That’s all. The city will never run out of Mice. The city will never run out of people either. We’re both here to stay. That’s when I realized I’m just like my tiny dead friend. We’re both just trying to survive. Everywhere we look there’s danger, but we persevere. I’m sorry I killed the mouse, in hindsight we’re just looking for the same thing, a moment of sweet salty satisfaction.

This video was taken right after the incident.

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